Chris's rules on what NOT to do
by Christina Norcinu
Summary: I decided to write a fanfiction on what not to do around the 'Bots and 'Cons. Most of the stuff in here will probably be stuff my class did. They are all absolutely nuts.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, so i have decided to do a rule fic with my most popular story's OC which is Christina Norcinu (She's who?!) by far. This will just be a little side project meant to get laughs. Enjoy! Yomitori to kakunin!( read and review)

#1.) This may be obvious, but do NOT back talk to my dad unless you want canons in your face.

*Dray! I cannot believe you said that! Your lucky your not dead! She told him to go frag Starscream when dad told her to stay out of the way!*

#2.) Starscream confuse to backwards talk not do.

*yeaahh he got mad and tried to squash Sam and Draykon when they started talking about random things, as fast as they could while talking backwards.*

#3.) When Dad and Screamer are fighting do not say:" awww you guys look sooooooo cute together" with an accent while taking pictures.

*Draykon and I were crazy hyper... We got glared at and thrown into the brig for a couple hours...*

*"Totally worth it!"-Draykon*

#4.) Do not say the autobots won the war,therefore they are much better than the 'cons.

* there was a hole in the wall*

*"I would be dead if my skin couldn't turn into amour"- Draykon"

*"Well you said that right to Megatron and starscream"- Sam  
"The looks on Screamers face when my dad freaked out were worth it!"- Draykon*

#5.) Do not bring Keith to the base.

*you will have to deal with me. And I am WORSE than my father when annoyed. You have been warned.*

#6.) Draykon and I are not allowed to have energon mixed with coffee.

* bad things happen when we are hyper. Ending with cannon fires or brig time or both most of the time( see rule 3)*

#7.) Human soldiers at Nest, do NOT freak out when i come.

* I don't like being shot at, i WILL get angry and you WILL regret it!*

*"Her eyes started glowing red and her skin went darker and she almost killed Bob!"-random soldier)

*i have my father's temper.*

#8.) Same thing for the 'Cons when Draykon comes.

*Prime doesn't like it when she gets injured.*

#9.) Do not introduce the twins to dodgeball.

* Draykon, what the heck were you thinking?  
"I didn't know they would make Cybertronian sized ones... or that they would hit dad with them"- Draykon)

#10.) When you get mad at your father,do not yell " I wish -insert uncle's name- was my dad!

*this is mostly for me and Draykon... Dad actually looked hurt and Prime got depressed when Draykon said it to him... we both ended up apologizing multiple times.*

#11.) Chai tea is banned on at Nest.

* Ratchet freaked when he saw the amount of sugar i put in mine*

#12.) If you don't know how to use chopsticks, don't use them.

* Bob tried to use mine, got annoyed and threw them. They hit Barricade, who whipped out his gun and almost blew her head off. Lennox was not happy.*

#13.) Touch my matches, books, anime or notebooks and i will hurt you

*"Sunny took the matches for a prank and when Chris found out, lets just say he's still in the Medbay"-Sides*

#14.) Who ever told the Hatchet where our secret stash of rootbeer and chocolate is. You WILL pay!

*"Normally, i try to keep Chris somewhat calm when she's here, but im just as mad as she is!" -Draykon*

#15.) I am no longer near Annebelle when im in one of my 'kill everything' moods

*afterwards i felt bad for scaring her that much*

#16.) When i say do something. Don't be surprised when you get hurt.

*I told Sam to get out of the way, he didn't listen.  
"I got covered in so much paint. I was bright pink for a month because it wouldn't come off!"-Sam.*

#17.) Do not make fun of Draykon and my flat chests.

*lets just say Prime wasn't happy with the words we used in our come backs*

#18.) Do not call Screamer a femme bot.

* he will go on and on for hours and then, if you still say he is... Well lets just say don't unless you like heights*

#19.) Draykon and I are not allowed to use our abilities on Alex and his friends.

*Prime was disappointed. Dad was proud (^-^)*

#20.) If Draykon wants to sing 'I got a jar of dirt' and do the dance,let her.

*Prowl got annoyed. The Hatchet scanned her. Turns out her mind is actualy fine. Unlike mine*

#21.) Just because you have healing abilities doesn't mean Ratchet wont freak out.

*i was in a mood, Ratchet annoyed me so i changed my finger into a knife and 'accidently' cut myself and healed it over and over. Ratchet almost glitched*

#22.) Do not let the Cybertronians see Transformer Crack fics.

*Dad saw '":Anatidaephobia:"' by Steelburst and shorted out his voice while laughing  
"Seeing Uncle Megs laugh is disturbing"-Draykon*

#23.) Do not limit Draykon and my food supply!

*We need more food than normal people. "So stop snatchin our food Sam!"- Draykon.)

#24.) Get this in your heads: Tatyana is a techno organic, Draykon and i are not.

#25.) Do not purposely annoy me because your bored.

*if Draykon hadn't been there Sam and Leo would be dead.

#26.) Do not randomly ask people what sex they are then yell 'Stop lying!'

#27.) Do not get your words mixed up.  
*"if you were on a stranded island, would you cut off your own leg and eat it?"- Sam  
"You would die from bloodloss"- Me  
"Not if you castrate it"-Sam  
Ratchets face was priceless*

#28.) DO NOT TOUCH MY PEPORONI SUBS!  
*seriously, Ratchet. Seriously? That was MY sub and it is not unhealthy!*

#29.) Dont touch Draykons chocolate.  
*"Do not touch my chocolate cake or chocolate brownies UNLESS YOU WANT YOU HEAD CUT OFF? IM TALKING TO YOU SAMUEL WITWICKY!"-Draykon*

#30.) Dont try to teach the cybertronians how to spell  
*i think Draykon and i scared a few of them*

#31.) Dont play wiffle ball in a hula skirt  
*Sam... no just... no*

#32.) No pancake smacking!  
*seriously Leo? I was gonna eat that!*

#33.) I can get away with ordering around the 'Cons. Sam, Leo, Draykon. You cannot.  
*"Sam and Leo got stepped on. But i didnt!"-Draykon*

A/N Rule 27 31 32 are actually something my class did.


	2. Starscream confuse to backwards talk not

Rule number 2

Okayyy you all will probably hate me… but since School is over I have no access to a computer with microsoft word. So until I figure out how to update from my lap top I wont be updating any time soon. GOMANASAI!  
I own nothing besides Chris, Draykon belongs to my friend.

Draykon and i were walking to the mess hall, listening to our favorite comedian, Brain Regan. We were laughing pretty hard...

"Brian? How do you make a word a plurl?" I ask, laughing.

"You put an 's' you put an 's' at the end of it!" Draykon answers in a dumb voice.

"When?" I say, barely controlling my laughter, glad that most of the Decepticons were not around.

"ON WEEKENDS AND HOLIDAYS!" Draykon says in a very loud, dumb voice.

"Will you two for the love of fraggin Primus! SHUT UP!" A very annoyed Starscream says from across the hall outside his quarters.

Draykon glares at gim." How bout you shut up yah Femme!"

"I am not a femme!" Starscream screams in a loud voice.

Draykon thinks for a moment then grins. "Are you yes."

"What?" Starscream says, glaring at the young Autobot.

"Femme a are you yes said i" Dray says calmy.

"Speak english or dont speak at all!" Starscream says, glaring daggers.

"Green are clouds the and white is grass the and green is sky the that know did you?" Draykon says, talking quickly. "Femme a are you and awesome is dad and sun the is fruit the and orange are you and."

"Last chance fleshy" Starscream says, powering up his guns.

Draykon says as fast as she can."Fragger femme me make!"

A few moments later theyre was a hole in the wall.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sam and Leo had heard about what Draykon had did, and Samwanted to try for himself. Which is why the two were currently wandering aimlessly around the Nemisis.

"This is going to be hilarious"Leo says while grinning.

"Yes yes it wi-" The sound of heavy footsteps intrupts Sam's sentance as Starscream comes into veiw around the corner.

Starscream snorts in discust." What are you two fleshbags doing here?"

"Not it is day nice Starscream hello?" Sam asks politely with a smile

"Speak normally or you'll end up in the med bay like your friend." Starscream growls.

"Nice very wasn't that." Samuel states.

"I said speak normally!" Starscream yells, being in a bad mood before the conversation already started.

"Screamer inside yell to nice not it's." Leo says, deciding to join in on the fun.

This continues for over an hour,ending with holes in the walls, Brig time for Sam and Leo and Starscream with a blown vocoder.


	3. Chapter 3

#34.) Do NOT let Draykon or myself have Highgrade Energon.  
*seriously people?! I' m talking to you Frenzy!*  
*Dad and Prime looked about ready to offline someone*

#35.) DO NOT TRY TO GET DRAYKON OR ME IN A DRESS! Bad things will happen to you...  
*"SAMUEL JAMES WITWICKY I SWEAR!"-Draykon*  
*Yeah... if Chris werent there..." -Sam*  
*Youd be toast. Burned toast. With no butter. Blown to bits by Lord Megatron and Dray. Toast.*  
*"IT WAS HOT FRAGGING PINK!"- Dray*

#36.) Ratchet is no longer allowed to give me brain scans.  
*Lets just say, Hatchet accused the Cons of not taking proper care of me and REFUSED to let me go home, or even leave the med bay! I LIKE MY MENTAL ISSUES THANK YOU VERY PINAPPLE!*

*#37.) Do not say random things for question answers.  
*yyeeeeeeahhhhh Draykon and I were WAY took hyper.

#38.) Do NOT photoshop Lord Megatron and Screamer into very compromising positions!  
*SAMUEL. JAMES. WITWICKY! I am ashamed of you!  
"If i ever see something like that again..."- Lord Megatron.*

#39.) Sadly, Any movies in which cars get horribly destroyed are banned from Nest.  
*Lets just say some of the Bots are very paranoid.*

#40.) Nest Soldiers, even if i'm 2 halls away, i CAN hear you like youre shouting in my ears.  
* any injuries that come to you from disobeying this rule are all your own fault.  
"Yeah... Bob is now in the medbay from questioning why the Autobots trust her... and saying they ahould just offline her already. Even Optimus gave him a disaproving look after that"- random soldier*

#41.) Do NOT even mention me and Keith look cute together.  
* Starscream. That is by farvthe most horrendous thing i have ever heard!  
"You better not be waht fleshies call 'dating' him Christina"- Megatron*

#42.) Frenzy, Sides and Sunny.. you guy are awesome.  
* They actually WORKED TOGETHER and scared the scrap outta Akex and his friends! It was epic!  
"It was really funny"- Draykon*

#43.) Do NOT lock my father and Starscream in a room together with a video camara.  
* all you will record is them arguing. I don't know who did it -cough-Leo-cough- but they will be in big trouble.*

#44.) ANIME IS NOT A CARTOON!  
*I will bite anyone who says otherwise!*

#45.) For the love of Unicron do NOT tell Father, Prime or any other Cybertronians about Rule 34!  
*Poor Bee got curious and now he's scarred for life!* (1)

a/n: rule 34 is .. if it exists there is **** of it


	4. Chapter 4

#46.) Chris is not allowed to date! At all!-Lord megatron  
*Lord Megatron shot at the last guy  
"You should have let him"-Sam  
"I have to agree with Sammy... he's a freak"-Dray  
Yes he was..*

#47.) No speaking different languages backwards.  
*Starscream almost killed me and Dray  
"Its was waayy funnier when we started mixing languages to he couldn't translate them"-Dray*

#48.) Robotic Vampires...  
*Dray! What were you thinking?!  
"Well there blood is energon and they drink energon so they are drinking there blood!"-Dray  
Ratchet almost GLITCHED!*

#49.) Racing mine and Dray's alt. Modes is no longer allowed..  
*Unless soundwave, Prime, or Lord megatron see us.  
"We crashed into Meggabutt and Sam and Leo who were driving us broke some bones."-Dray  
And lots of paint got scratched.*

#50.) Hyptnotism is banned from Nest.  
*let's just say Sam though he was a rhino and charged Prime.. and hurt his arm worse*


End file.
